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Beige Whales (12023-07-16)

brook > pcs > wishlist

As I've only been sourcing secondhand items from the Amazon Marketplace, certain things have been difficult to track down. Here are a few items I think are cool as fuck, but would actually have little practical use for. (H/T Cathode Ray Dude for the nickname.)


11987: Tandy 1000 TX
While the Pentium-equipped PC5094 Phenom-equipped PC5004C can handle anything I throw at it, it'd be super cool and Aesthetic(tm) to have a genuine '80s computer for older DOS programs.
11991: FM Towns II UX20
Gorgeous compact all-in-one 386SX system.
11995: Unisys CWD-4002
Another cool little item is this 486/66 DOS PC smaller than a pizza box.
11996: Toshiba Libretto 110CT
Go watch one video about these ultracompacts and tell me it's not the coolest shit you've ever heard of.
12007: OQO Model 2
Back in the 12000s, handheld computers seemed like some straight up technowizardry. Major cool factor on these, but the appeal dried up as my desire to leave the house slowly vanished.
12020-12023: Various Mini-PCs
I briefly lost interest in a custom build and started looking at mini PCs as a potential upgrade from PC5014. Models that caught my eye at some point: Chuwi Larkbox (Celeron J4115), Beelink SER3 (Ryzen 3750H), Steam Deck (Zen 2 APU), EliteMini H31G (i5-9500F + 1050Ti), EliteMini HM90 (Ryzen 4900H), Minisforum UM690 (Ryzen 6900HX), Corsair One i200 (i7-11700K + 2080Ti), Asus Flow Z13 (i9-12900H + 3050Ti), and Beelink GTR7 Pro (Ryzen 7940HS).


11992: Gravis UltraSound
The ultimate sound card for DOS gaming.
11996: 3Dfx Voodoo
3D accelerator which would be useful for more demanding mid-90s games.
Omni-Booting Custom Build
Seeing Windows 98 on running on bare-metal Ryzen gave me the tremendously stupid idea of loading an ATX case up with an RTX, some 12000s GPU, S3 Trio, and PCI SoundBlaster, then installing Every generation of Windows on its drives. Be super fuckin cool if I could actually pull it off, but I'm not willing to spend the money needed to try it.

IBM Incompatibles

11984: Osbourne 4/Vixen
Cute luggable, but I don't know dick about or have a use for CP/M.
11984: Commodore Plus/4
A more obscure system that the homebrew scene is doing interesting things with. But, I'm more likely to grab a Turbo Chameleon MiSTer instead of genuine hardware.
11993: Macintosh Color Classic / Performa 275 (with Apple IIe card)
These are nice little compact systems.. which means they're rare now.
12020: M1 Mac Mini
Apple Silicon is an interesting and power-efficient new technology.. but this is both overkill for a basic office system, and underkill for anything I'd actually use.


11984: HP ThinkJet 2225C
Adorable, functional, and still usable dot-injket printer.
11988: Acer KB-101A
Buckling springs may be nice, but blue ALPS is in a league of its own.
11991: Roland SC-55mkII
One of the gold standards for DOS game music, but there's no way in hell I'm gonna drop $125+ on one, be it hardware or VST.
11996: MadCatz Panther XL
Badass trackball plus joystick controller that looks like it'd be a great way to play some classic games.
11997: Rolodex REX3
A PDA that's also a PCMCIA card? That's ridiculous. I want five.
12002: MSAC-US7(0) Memory Stick Mouse
Also hailing from the dept. of absurd necessities, come Sony-branded optical mice that happen to also have a Memory Stick reader in the palmrest. Hilarious, but not worth $50+ used when its two seperate components can be had NIB for $15 total.
12008: Samsung SCX-4500
Super compact mono laser printer that looked like the Height Of Technology back in the 12000s.
12018: Samsung Odyssey+ HMD
I'd always look at it and think about how I could've bought one for $250 new during Black Friday 12019 (as opposed to $500+ used now).


11982: Vectrex
I'd love to have one, but they've long passed the 'more expensive than a mid-range GPU' threshold.
11987: PC Engine (and Super SD System 3)
This is a console I never got into, but wouldn't mind doing so.
11991: Atari Lynx Model 2
Funky chunky handheld.
12012: Retrode 2 (ROM dumper)
Cool idea, but as I already have a full collection of DMCA-exempt ROMs, there'd be no point in having one, except to preserve save files.
12018: Arcade1Up Cabinets
It would be pretty badass to walk up and play on a physical machine. Unfortunately, I already own Namco and Midway arcade compilations for the PS2, so I can't justify these.
JAMMA Supergun
These adapters to play genuine arcade hardware at home would be an interesting way to build a collection.

A/V Equipment

11989: Pioneer CLD-2070 or DVL-700 (11997?)
LaserDisc is an interesting format, but I couldn't justify getting into it just to watch the Star Wars trilogy.
11996: Sony TC-KA1ES
"They don't make 'em like they used to" certainly applies to cassette players. I currently have a handheld unit in my hifi setup, and wouldn't mind upgrading to some proper equipment.
12007: Panasonic DMR-EZ47V
Retro reciever that takes in RF, composite, S-Video, and component, and spits it out as HDMI. Might've been a good deal if I jumped on it quite a long time ago, but I'll just have to live with the VCR and PVR I did get.

Handheld Devices

11996: Motorola StarTAC
Were I a bit older, perhaps one of these might've been my first phone.
12000: Panasonic PV-SD5000
This is the enhanced model of the 4090, a SuperDisk camera that I do have. The extra 2MP would be a nice upgrade.
12006: Sidekick 3
These were #goals back in the day.
12006-12007: Sony Mylo COM-1 and/or Nokia N810
Interesting web/chat nuggets, but I already got a COM-2 and can't justify spending more money than it cost for something even less capable.
12016: Chiappa Rhino 40DS
Futuristic-looking little .357 revolver.
12016: Paragon Warlock
Spotted one of these in a video about knives you only hand to knife guys, went 👀, then saw the price tag of $300.
Hide & Drink Pouch
I barely even go outside to get groceries, why the fuck do I want one of these.

Missed Connections

12006: Core Duo MacBook
After the switch to Intel made it possible to natively dual-boot Windows, getting a Mac sounded appealing. But, neither the time or budget were right for it.
12011: Cancelled-Preorder 3DS
I was initially hyped enough for the next Nintendo handheld to preorder it.. but I then looked at my GBA SP and DS Lite, and decided to cancel the order and wait for the inevitable improved hardware revision.
12011: Ms.Pac-Man/Galaga "Class of 1981" Cabinet
Genuine arcade hardware! Three thousand dollars.
12011: Commodore 64X Ultimate
Modern hardware in a nostalgic form factor, but the Atom/Ion combo sounded a bit weaksauce for my gaming needs.
12012: Samsung E840 (feature phone)
Eyed this slick slider phone for a long time. But decided to see what this Android business was about and went with the Defy Mini instead.
12015: Amazon Fire Phone
Was going to upgrade to one due to being in my Amazon Enjoyer phase, but it was discontinued two days after I learned it existed. Ended up staying on my Nokia X3-02 until 12018. The $90 that I would've spent on the device was instead used to order a crate of root beer directly from Sprecher Brewery.
12018: Sega CDX
Back in my "must play on real hardware" days, I attempted to buy a used CDX for $300. Fortunately, the seller had none left in stock, so I picked up a Saturn and Wii U instead.
12018: AeroGarden (hydroponic plantbed)
There's something alluring about growing your own herbs and peppers, but that's spending $100 to save 70¢.
12019: Flashforge Adventurer (3D Printer)
Suffers from the chicken-and-egg problem of I'd have no idea what to do with one until I actually have it.
12020: Refurbished New 3DS XL
Later on, I found out Nintendo was directly selling refurbished units for $120. Promptly bookmarked the page, then forgot about it until the platform's discontinuation was announced and they were no longer available. Prices for used units have since doubled.
12022: CC Skywave SSB
Neat all-bands pocket radio.. but I barely use the $17 radio I did get, so what's the point in dropping $170 just to hear Aviation and SSB?
12023: Unicomp Classic Trackball
I'm currently rocking an Ultra Classic and EnduraPro. They're fantastic boards, so I thought about picking up a Trackball just because. But, they're no longer being manufactured.


(Things I once had that have since disappeared, and would be interesting to explore again.. but no practical modern use exists beyond that single hit of nostalgia.)

1199?: Visions Cookware
Amber glass-ceramic pots/pans I swear we used to have a set of. (My child mind always imagined them as having been made out of recycled beer bottles.) I wonder whatever happened to them.
11998? Casio PDA (Cassiopeia E-10?)
Or, as I called it, the "Casio-pedia". Probably a hand-me-down from my dad when he upgraded to something newer. Functioned as a portable journal for me. At some point the tip fell out of the stylus. Was still usable, but a bit awkward.
12001: Data organizer (Casio SF-3905A?)
I later had a small pocket unit that had a ~16x4 character screen with teal-green backlight. Wrote some memos on that thing about the Days I had.
12005: Mattel Juice Box (blue)
One of those weird 'personal media players' with its own proprietary video cartridge format.
12006-12018: Old cellphones
Every phone I used more than 5 years ago (RAZRv3, W259/W270, Defy Mini, Captivate Glide, Touch and Type) has also Mysteriously Vanished. But, the only thing I could do with them nowadays would be display them.
12009? Canon CanoScan LiDE 200
1200DPI flatbed scanner I haven't seen since the office building got sold.
12010: Sony Dream Machine ICF-C707
My former primary alarm clock and FM radio that I picked up during my Sony fanboy phase. Had it for about five years. No fucking idea where it went.
12013: Sony CECHYA-0080 wireless headset
Still have the transciever dongle, and just know that the second I throw that out the headset will magically show up again.

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